Many people think that love is something that just happens in some serendipitous manner. You think you will just find that special someone, have some amazing chemistry and have your fairy tale ending. I’m here to tell you that I don’t think that is completely true, and in many regards, a sure fire way to fail and live your life in a miserable state of malaise. I know how to fall in love, and I think there is a very specific equation for it. So specific, that in my last major relationship I even told her exactly when she would be most happy and we would fall in love, five months in advance. Yes, we were truly in love at the end of it. By no means am I saying it is easy to do, and by no means am I saying you aren’t going to have to work hard at it, but if you are ready for it I know how to make it happen. People are entirely predictable, creatures of habit if you will, and easy to read, there are plenty of psychological and physiological studies out there that support everything I am going to say.
I am not saying this to be crude, and say that you should do this as a way to play women. I do not condone that, for a reason you will see soon. What I am saying is far from it actually, I am saying that love is an amazing aspect of life, one you may struggle at, so just follow these steps. Forget everything you have heard about fractionation, or any other pickup artist technique. You can use that to pick up superfluous amounts of women, but this is all about the “one”, a connection far greater than 100 half ass one night stands. That connection with the one significant other who has stolen your heart, butterflies and all, and you think meets your “list”. Now it is your job not to mess it up, so without further ado here are the ways to make anyone fall in love with you. Tried, tested, and proven.
Once you have gone on a date, had your good time and are ready to go on to the second or maybe it is the third or fourth at this point this is when you can start making this soon to be loved one fall madly head over heals for you.
1. Talk, frequently and with substance for extended periods of time
There seems to be a popular adage that you shouldn’t go straight to talking with someone that you are interested in immediately following a date. They say to wait a few days and then schedule another date. I firmly disagree. Immediately after a date, the first thing that I do is wait a few minutes and send a text or message saying how great a time I had and how much I enjoyed their company, possibly picking out a specific attribute of the date. The next day I am not shy to pick up the phone and begin a text, e-mail, Facebook, etc. conversation. I might start with the simple “How are you doing?” or “Anything interesting happen today?” but I quickly dive in to questions with more substance. It is entirely possible to get into much deeper conversations much faster via electronic communication because there is not the in person, daunting barrier. That being said, I think it is very important to talk about personal stories, full of emotion and hand gestures, in person. Do not be afraid to have personal conversations early on though. This shows trust, and it really lets them know just how great of a person you are. Once you are in person again, this makes everything much more comfortable, and you can progress quickly to actions, sharing, and connections that bring you closer in a whole new way. I know having constant, substantive things to talk about isn’t always easy, and you may be afraid of progressing the conversation much too fast so I suggest these two sources. Memorize some of your favorite questions to ask and use it for all sorts of situations.
2. Compliment her on more than just looks, often, but not excessive
Sure, she is gorgeous, beautiful, sexy, dashing, stunning, hot, and magnificent. She is also much more than that though. Definitely compliment her on her looks, but do it maybe once every time you see her or talk to her. The best time to do this is either at the beginning of contact, in the middle of a romantic encounter, or at the end as you say goodbye to her. As I said though she is much more than her looks, and she better damn well know that you think so too. It reflects as much on her as it does you to pick out the specific nuances that make you love her so. The way she can solve a triple integral in her head, how she always knows exactly how you feel and how to make you smile, or how she is always dedicated to her dream to improve the lives of special needs children, these are all things you should compliment her on. The best thing to do here is show he just how well you have been listening, and really hit the aspects that you know she cares most about. Throw around too many physical compliments and not enough about her character and you are going to find yourself in hot water my friend. She isn’t stupid, and boy does she not want to be a booty call. So show her that you are just as much a man of substance as she is a woman of depth and intelligence.
3. Find out what her ambitions are and press her more on that
If she is a keeper she isn’t just meandering through life not knowing what she really cares about. Sure she might not know what she wants to do with her life in terms of a career, but I am positive that she knows exactly what she is willing to lay her life on the line for time and time again. Ask her. Go beyond just, “Oh, I am going to finish school for X degree” that isn’t what she really cares about. Why is she going for that degree? Where is her head at when she day dreams. You should know this. You should also care independently and deeply about helping her achieve her ambitions in anyway you can. This will really get her out of her shell and believing that you are the best man for her, and her the best woman for you.
4. Start inquiring about the skeletons in her closet, make her feel comfortable telling you secrets
Dig, get some answers and keep digging. What does she not want anyone to know? Everyone has skeletons in their closet, things that haunt them when they lay in bed at night. They question themselves, who they are, where they are headed, and if it is all worth it. Your objective is to find these aspects, peel them back, and do not wince at the worst of it. Show your strength to accept her for who she is, even if what lies beneath the surface may be terrible, horrendous, and downright unnerving. If she puts up a shield, and says she doesn’t want to talk about it, don’t be afraid to push till almost the point of break down. Emotions are powerful, and the chemicals released when someone trusts you completely really bring a bond closer. Also, start to do this within the first couple weeks. Don’t believe me? I think Whisper has something else to say about that. Not having secrets is powerful, vulnerable, and romantic.
5. Let her start to see the things that haunt you from your past, show vulnerability, show that you trust her in return
As I said before, this can’t be a one way street. If she is going to really love you, she can’t be guessing at what lies beneath. She will be assuming the worst, and you don’t want that, because, let’s be real, women assume things quickly. Clear up the haze, and tell her all. Do not do this without getting secrets from her first though! She might not be ready for you to start dumping your baggage on her, so this has to be something that is reciprocal. Go ahead, tell her you secretly love Project Runway, tell her you had a really dark place in middle school and considered the end, let her in on how much your family struggled to make ends meet, your brother that was in a coma, or your ingrained fear of failure. Be real with her and she will love you for that.
6. Hint at your overwhelming desire for her
Show her how much you care. Don’t come right out and say you love her though, that is a very powerful word. You can say you really, really….really like her though. Why is she unique? What separates her from every girl before? Don’t compare her to exes though, but tell her the unique aspects that only she alone possesses. You’ve never had more fun with anyone else? Tell her. Your stomach drops every time she looks you dead in the eye, tell her. Kiss her with more passion than Mel Gibson’s Passion of the Christ. Squeeze her till her eyes pop. Toe the line all the way up to saying the big L word and her heart is yours forever.
7. Make her contact you first for awhile, be patient, be very confident and independent
Are you always the one to contact her first? Well now is the time to stop. Right now she thinks she has you by the balls. You are at her beck and call, or at least she thinks. About time you show her that isn’t true, and get her to realize just how much she has fallen head over heals for you. Wait, very patiently for her to text you first. Don’t ask her out, let her plan something herself. Make her work for it, sorry ladies guys aren’t the only ones who should have to work in a relationship. Be confident that she really likes you, and show your independence by focusing on everything outside of the relationship. This is going to make her come crawling back to you time and time again, and she won’t ever think you are a commodity.
8. Spend more time together, don’t go too many days without seeing each other
The objective here is to keep the fire alive, keep putting fodder to the flames and don’t let it burn out. This means you should be seeing her every couple days at the least, and the more and more you can see each other in various situations the better. Don’t forget to save time for cuddling at night, and remember use sex as the icing on the cake not the main contributor to physical and emotional connection. If you end up going a week, two weeks, three weeks between seeing one another, things are going to go cold and you have to start the fire over again. Don’t give her time to think you aren’t interested, keep that spark coming, and there will be an enormously powerful connection. You become part of her everyday life, and that is important.
9. Start to incorporate her into more parts of your life, friends, family, hometown, hobbies, etc.
She isn’t going to love you until she is a part of your life, and not just one piece to the puzzle but connected to all other pieces. Introduce her to all of your friends and be proud of her, show her off, and make everyone jealous that you have the greatest woman out there. Get the parental approval, that is vital if you ever want it to continue to something more like marriage. Getting everyone in on it will only cement things. Show her where you grew up, that little red house on the corner, yup that is where you lost your first tooth. The jail of a high school next to the farm over there, that is where you came to be who you are, awkward pimples and all. Then what do you do outside of work and when you are with her? I hope you have some hobbies and interests that you care about. Teach her photography, take her to your favorite spot to over look the city, go out and play volleyball with her, hold her up while she slips and slides around the ice rink. What makes you happy, will only make her more happy when you share it with her. Relationships are about growth, do it.
10. Become a fixture in her life, make her friends, family, colleagues love you, aid her in her hobbies and passions, be her rock
Just as you make her apart of all aspects of your life, you want to become a big part of hers. When you get the best friend approval, everything becomes so much easier, and if she has a good relationship with her parents, and they treat you like a son, you are in. No amount of anything else can help make sure you are going to be the love of her life like getting that approval. Learn about what she loves and make yourself a part of that. Learn from her and everything she has to offer to you and make that a piece of your life as well. Be the model of acceptance.
11. Hint at a more long term future together
Love is everlasting, or so they say. Telling your significant other it is, on the other hand is a sure fire way to make her truly mad for you. Plan things months in advance, hit at moving in together and living side by side for ever and ever. Don’t get on the knee just yet, but when you have the chance talk about the places you would love to live, where you want to travel with them, what you want for the future. If your significant other knows where his is headed, and knows that you want her in your future, she isn’t going anywhere. Don’t go crazy naming the child, and talking about how your grandmother always wanted you wife to have a water birth, but do start making her a part of your future in small ways.
12. Do unique, random, and special things for her on important dates, go over the top and out of the box
Valentine’s day, her birthday, Christmas or other winter holidays, New Year’s, etc. make it special, make it unique, and don’t be afraid to show the extent of your romantic chops. Come out guns blazing and knock her socks so far off that the international space station can see them floating in space. Don’t stop at just the holidays though. Good day at work, bring on the rose petal laden floor, candles, and 5 star dinner cooked by you complete with the Notebook or American Psycho if that is her thing (true story). Everyday is a special day with the one you love, and should be treated as such. Thoughtfulness is not wasted on the smitten.
13. Tell her you love her, endlessly and without condition
Lucky number 13. It is time my friend, time to spell out that small yet ever powerful 4 letter word, L O V E. Tell her just how much you love her, and mean it with every fiber of your being. Look her dead in the eye, gaze deep into her soul, and put the gasoline on the fire with the words “I love you!” She is forever yours at this point, and should be treated as the princess and soon to be queen that she is, do not, and I repeat, do not abuse the unending trust and belief she has in you. If you get this far, and I know you will, cherish every second.
Remember, by no means should these techniques be used on any women just for the sake of it. You have to be in love with her, deeply, madly, head over heals, unending, and unconditionally. Absolutely, under no circumstances should you use this to use women, or make them love you if you cannot return the feeling. A few years ago, just to see if I could, I may have done the thing that I regret more than anything in my life. For some sadistic reason, I found a girl online, began talking to her and wanted to see how fast I could make her fall in love. This is without any physical contact whatsoever, purely by text and phone conversations. I did everything step for step, one month later she said the words and could not have cared more for me. I did not share the same feeling, and I had to tell her the truth and break it off. I have never seen someone so crushed and angry in my life. For that reason I am dearly sorry and will forever repent for the crime against the female race that I have committed. Again, I repeat, never, ever, EVER use this except to have the one you love fall in love with you and live happily ever after. Never…