A Word: Love, miraculously described in text Part 2

Some say when the mind connects with the heart there is no greater love on this earth. My soul began to connect the two and what no one had ever been able to tell before, was something I realized. The stuff of legends, that people dream of but never seek and achieve. As this completed I neared the top, the summit that I had strove for, for so long to reach. The light on the other side exploded in a blinding power. Everything seemed to slow, my breathe began to wain, my heart slowed, and my eyes fluttered to darkness. I stood not knowing where I was and began to fall back, floating down, gently. My lungs took in no more air, my heart would beat no longer, and the black clouds engulfed me. When my eyes fluttered open I was in an other worldly place. The lady of the mountain was face to face with me, floating in this dream state. Her soft voice, spoke the words, “I love you”. Torn and bleeding from the climb I returned the words, with no sense of tarnish, no ill. Again, everything went black and I crashed back into the mountain, but black it never would remain. 

Some say I was the man of legends that bound with the woman of the mountain to become one. I was the one who found the secret to the grand essential to happiness in this life, but it came with my death. The myth of my death some believe, but that is not true love unless it is apparent that I still live on. The greatest happiness ever was found and still exists to this day. The reason, all those who embark on the same climb will find. Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies, and now it is a single soul, a single love, and a single happiness that was once two bodies, now composed of one mountain, together in the revels of the climb. The climb, is what I hope for

A Word: Love, miraculously described in text Part 1

I’ve been talking a bit about what love is, and I realized it is often very hard to really know if you are in love or not. Here is my allegorical explanation to hopefully express the exact emotions that are felt while in love. It may not be complete, nor the best description, but it is all I can do with the words that are given to us.

Roland Barthes probably put it best, “To try and write love is to confront the muck of language: that region of hysteria where language is both too much and too little, excessive and impoverished.” That hysteria began with Joseph Addison’s three grand essentials to happiness in this life: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for.

My something to do began at the base of a deadly mountain, chilling in the shadow of the day, blistering with its roar, and ravage with its wispy nails cutting through your skin from the days of hardened defense. This mountain was like none other in the world, millions had attempted it throughout the history of the human race, but only few had ever reached the summit. Some have said the mountain can see within your soul, and if there is not clarity between your mind and heart, death will be your fate. With this in mind I set each foot one after another into the glossy flakes of ice beneath. Empty air slithered into my lungs and grabbed at me.

The base where I was just an hour before, turned black and appeared to disappear away. Stunned I gazed beyond the windows of my mind, a hook seemed to be deep within my heart pulling away everything I had ever felt. Hesitantly I took a few more steps. All of me felt heavy as I sank into the powder. All the white, washed over my eyes. I awoke floating away from the crater in the snow I had just left. Nothing had ever felt this way deep within, my mind was airy, but my heart was light. After that there was nothing but the mountain, and a climb to fill my heart of something greater than myself.

In the first day I had made it a minuscule way up. Loneliness set in as the first night approached. Only embers from the fire kept warmth to my body. Very little flame ever glittered away from the ashes, the source that was the mountain kept its hold upon the throat of the fire. Every story I heard was true, and the rest of this summit was only to get harder. Yearning the next morning from the dream I had while asleep in the snowy mountain, I began to furiously climb. Only briefly would I stop to catch my breathe. Unknown to me at the beginning of my journey was that this mountain was not a wild animal, or beast from mythical stories, but a lady. A lady of the greatest nature, the chilling wind was like her dark flowing hair, the snow like the softness of her skin, and the rocks like the strength she had to control you, death or life. Days and days went by, the lady of the mountain threw her fortitude at me, and my heart began to fall in love with the challenge and the grace.

A barrier of thick dark clouds still stood within my sight and the tip of the mountain. I fought with ever part of the mountain. Tears from the blinding snow would freeze on my cheek, and each crevice would daunt my hope to continue further. My heart began to fill, even with my mind more cautious than ever, protecting me from every bend in the slim curves of the woman beneath. As each day was a challenge more unlike the previous day, I soon found my something to love. Each night I held dreams of this mountain, with the tender woman beneath the raging facade. I awoke each morning with great strength throughout. My love for the mountain grew, and my mind became more at ease with the treacherous cliffs and slippery grains beneath my footwear. Weeks passed and it was as if I danced upon the curves and twists of the young lady, making my way towards the dark clouds that were chopping off the view to the peak.

Shortly afterward, I began my assent into the darkness that guarded the summit. Black waves ensued, crashing into my core. Turquoise lightning struck, and I felt I could see the eyes of the mountain, fear striking within me. All the while my mind still lay caution to my heart, of the harm that lay ahead. The peak grew in my sight, and what seemed to be the light from a burning white sun, lay just beyond the other side. Naturally, love is a most distant possibility. That held true as the peak never seemed to get closer. I tried and I fell, tumbling down tearing my skin on the exposed rock, many times I could not reach the top.

I lay one night, and again I had a dream, this dream gave the key to achieving the summit, but in the dream that key would mean the death of me. My final assent to the top would be this day. The cold of below left, and a heat and sharpness began tearing away the bonds I had on for the piercing cold. Finally, I had found what I could hope for, with my mind letting down its final defense it molded with my heart in the love for this mountain, my heart felt something great, and my mind was more clear than ever. What I could hope for was to reach the summit with a heart and mind full of love.

My Hollywood Relationship: Part 9 The Storm

At this point in the story, my whole life seemed to be perfect. I was starting a great tech company, I had the girl of my dreams, and I could not be happier with the love that we shared together. To sum it up, life was absolutely perfect, and looking back on it, to this day I think those were the happiest few months of my entire life. I can only wish that any point in the future can hold that great of happiness. Enough with the sappiness though, it is time for the storm clouds to roll in and put an end to all this sunshine. Enter stage left, the rain cloud, give me a few good lightning strikes, and bring on the thunder. I hope you have a comfy seat and are buckled in, because we are in for some turbulence.

Part 1, 2, 3, 3.2, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 to get caught up on where we are at with this story.

 

Eventually she returned to Japan, and he returned to California, and they began the long journey and process of staying connected and in love until they saw each other again. Probably the most meaningful and dedicated thing they did, was to write one blog post about a quote or question they selected. This was quite the process, but it allowed them to learn more about one another in those four months than they ever learned about any other person. It showed true compassion for their relationship to go through that each and every night, and to share so much, with such strength or character and honesty.

The first three months, even though spent apart seemed to be going amazingly. The love that was being shared each and everyday was palpable, and incredibly touching. They were more in love than ever, and the intense happiness that they felt during the semester prior, and the wonderful memories they shared together seemed to continue deep into the summer, even while thousands of miles away. Until all at once it changed, and those feelings of happiness and love came to an abrupt end.

Those final couple of weeks seemed to drag on forever. Happiness and love turned into arguing, hurtful things being said, and little affection being shown. It all began with her disappearing one day, and they did not speak. When she finally responded back he was about to lay his head on his pillow and drift off into sleep, worrying about her, and her safety. Turns out she was fine, but didn’t want to talk to him anymore. Tensions were building, and pressure was being pushed on her for finding a job and starting a career. Apparently that left him as a second thought, one that she would return to without actual feelings of whether she wanted to still be with him. Their love, once an amazing tower, built strong and tall, now left laying in shambles, torn down, and left in a mess of rubble. He was left speechless, his seemingly weakening heart hurting more than it ever had. What had happened? He was not sure, and maybe she wasn’t either, but how would he know?

He had waited all summer for her to come back and be reunited with him, and now it seemed like that moment would, and shouldn’t ever happen. When the day arrived, he got into his car and made sure to get to the airport early so that he wouldn’t run into traffic, and he wouldn’t make her wait if she got there early. He had a whole romantic evening by the beach planned for when she returned, but he didn’t know if it would actually be worth it at this point, with her not even sure if they should still be together. Sadly, and almost pathetically, he was still confident in being with her, and that made it even harder for him to bear seeing her.Dust Storm Bringing in the Problems

He pulled into the terminal and there she was with her luggage in hand. They hugged, and kissed and seemed happy enough to see each other, but the feeling they had before just was not the same. He decided to continue on his romantic plan anyway, hoping that it would reignite that flame they shared just four months prior. It was a nice night out, but it wasn’t perfect like he dreamed. It led to arguing and wondering where they were actually headed, but they still managed to have a good enough time together.

It was the many weeks after that, that would prove the most difficult. All he wanted was his sweetheart back, the one he called the one, the one he loved with no end. She on the other hand thought herself to be a newly awakened individual, who didn’t want anyone by her side and no one to love. To him that was alarming, he was still reeling from the fact that everything changed 180 degrees in such a short period of time.

She was confused, about who she was, what she really wanted and where they would be headed. In just a couple months she would be headed back to Japan permanently. That would be an entirely different challenge. He knew she was struggling though, and he did absolutely everything he possibly could to make sure she was happy again, and loved him like she used to. At this point there was no happiness, no love, no affection. It was a struggle to get anywhere with the relationship and it was nearing it’s end. At any moment he thought that he would give up, and just consider the relationship to be a lost cause, but he kept going, doing absolutely everything he possibly could to make her happy.

She was not sure she wanted to continue the relationship when she returned to Japan, but he was confident they could do it. They just had to get through each week, step by step. He took her out often, and tried to do special things as much as he could to help her cope with everything, and experience the many great things that life had to offer. The first major milestone was making it to his best friends wedding when they would return to Colorado for a few days to celebrate in the love of marriage and a child, and strong friendship. That seemed to be a rejuvenating moment in their relationship, and things were back on track, but not the same as they used to be. It would take more time for them to really get back to what would be close to how they were before.

After the brief road trip they had together to visit his dad, and the time they spent in Colorado with his friends things really started to seem to get back to normal and she seemed happy again. It had taken a toll on him though. The endless effort made him exhausted. He still loved her dearly, but he just hoped that she would realize how much time he spent trying to help her get through those tough times. They finally seemed happy together, once again. Now there was just one month left in the semester and they had to make the best of it. He had done everything out of love, but now six months of a struggling relationship made him the skeptical one about what would happen when they left one another for potentially two years. Interestingly enough she was the one who was the one who wanted to make it work when they separated again. He did too, but knew that it was going to be very hard, and he needed to recharge his batteries soon. In this last month things seemed to be great again, and it all was happy. The scars were still there from the summer, but the strong happiness and endless love seemed to be back again. Just as his batteries were getting recharged, his trust was broken again, just two weeks before they would be separated indefinitely.

My Hollywood Relationship: Part 8 The Long Separation

As you may have read from my earlier posts, everything in this rather Hollywood romance story, has been just peachy and full of happiness. However, as with any great Oscar winning film, there must be a major climax, and some major problem that happens between the two lovers. Unbeknownst to them, it is time for that turn in the story, even when everything seems to be falling into place perfectly. Plot line for a story

Part 1, 2, 3, 3.2, 4, 5, 6, 7 for your enjoyment.

Heading into the summer they tried to spend as much time together as possible. It was the most amazing semester the two of them had ever had, and they never felt happier in their lives. They also began to talk about what the next four months apart held for them. They were going to try their best to make it through it, but she warned that she did not do well with long distance, and he wasn’t known for being the best either. Despite that fact though, they were committed to making it work and being at their happiest ever, they were going to stop at nothing to make it work.

The end of the year approached and it was a sad time, another bitter sweet time. Capping off the end to one of the greatest experiences of their lives, but getting ready to begin a new long and seemingly grueling strain of unending longing for one another. They said their long goodbyes at the airport, kissed passionately and then he left to go back home, and she returned to school until she would leave to go back home.

As a whim though, she decided she would come spend some time in his home state, and home town with him. He could not be happier, and he was waiting to tell her something that he had been thinking about ever since he had that flash about their future together. He wasn’t sure she felt the same way though, or whether or not she would accept how he felt and not leave him right then and there. When she arrived, it was amazing. They went to all the places that were so meaningful to him, and she saw the place of where all his stories and experiences originated from. She saw the final pieces of him, and really put it all together to see him for exactly who he was, is, and will be. He completely let her in, and he felt ecstatic about it.

A couple days later, as they were laying together in the small pullout couch at his mom’s house, he told her exactly what he had been thinking about. He told her everything about how he wanted a family with her, and how he never felt that about anyone else, and how he knew that she was the one, the one that you see in every romantic comedy film to come out of Hollywood. She was his fairytale ending. She harbored similar feelings for him, and they both lay there, tightly pressed against one another, staring deeply into the eyes of the other, with nothing but love surrounding them.

The last days she spent with him were amazing, everything that they had ever imagined. Unfortunately, this time they approached the the airport it would be a long time before they ever were able to hug, kiss, or share in a loving stare as they fell asleep next to each other, happy. These next months would be some of the most difficult for them, but they didn’t quite know just how it would end.