A Word: Love, miraculously described in text Part 2

Some say when the mind connects with the heart there is no greater love on this earth. My soul began to connect the two and what no one had ever been able to tell before, was something I realized. The stuff of legends, that people dream of but never seek and achieve. As this completed I neared the top, the summit that I had strove for, for so long to reach. The light on the other side exploded in a blinding power. Everything seemed to slow, my breathe began to wain, my heart slowed, and my eyes fluttered to darkness. I stood not knowing where I was and began to fall back, floating down, gently. My lungs took in no more air, my heart would beat no longer, and the black clouds engulfed me. When my eyes fluttered open I was in an other worldly place. The lady of the mountain was face to face with me, floating in this dream state. Her soft voice, spoke the words, “I love you”. Torn and bleeding from the climb I returned the words, with no sense of tarnish, no ill. Again, everything went black and I crashed back into the mountain, but black it never would remain. 

Some say I was the man of legends that bound with the woman of the mountain to become one. I was the one who found the secret to the grand essential to happiness in this life, but it came with my death. The myth of my death some believe, but that is not true love unless it is apparent that I still live on. The greatest happiness ever was found and still exists to this day. The reason, all those who embark on the same climb will find. Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies, and now it is a single soul, a single love, and a single happiness that was once two bodies, now composed of one mountain, together in the revels of the climb. The climb, is what I hope for

A Word: Love, miraculously described in text Part 1

I’ve been talking a bit about what love is, and I realized it is often very hard to really know if you are in love or not. Here is my allegorical explanation to hopefully express the exact emotions that are felt while in love. It may not be complete, nor the best description, but it is all I can do with the words that are given to us.

Roland Barthes probably put it best, “To try and write love is to confront the muck of language: that region of hysteria where language is both too much and too little, excessive and impoverished.” That hysteria began with Joseph Addison’s three grand essentials to happiness in this life: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for.

My something to do began at the base of a deadly mountain, chilling in the shadow of the day, blistering with its roar, and ravage with its wispy nails cutting through your skin from the days of hardened defense. This mountain was like none other in the world, millions had attempted it throughout the history of the human race, but only few had ever reached the summit. Some have said the mountain can see within your soul, and if there is not clarity between your mind and heart, death will be your fate. With this in mind I set each foot one after another into the glossy flakes of ice beneath. Empty air slithered into my lungs and grabbed at me.

The base where I was just an hour before, turned black and appeared to disappear away. Stunned I gazed beyond the windows of my mind, a hook seemed to be deep within my heart pulling away everything I had ever felt. Hesitantly I took a few more steps. All of me felt heavy as I sank into the powder. All the white, washed over my eyes. I awoke floating away from the crater in the snow I had just left. Nothing had ever felt this way deep within, my mind was airy, but my heart was light. After that there was nothing but the mountain, and a climb to fill my heart of something greater than myself.

In the first day I had made it a minuscule way up. Loneliness set in as the first night approached. Only embers from the fire kept warmth to my body. Very little flame ever glittered away from the ashes, the source that was the mountain kept its hold upon the throat of the fire. Every story I heard was true, and the rest of this summit was only to get harder. Yearning the next morning from the dream I had while asleep in the snowy mountain, I began to furiously climb. Only briefly would I stop to catch my breathe. Unknown to me at the beginning of my journey was that this mountain was not a wild animal, or beast from mythical stories, but a lady. A lady of the greatest nature, the chilling wind was like her dark flowing hair, the snow like the softness of her skin, and the rocks like the strength she had to control you, death or life. Days and days went by, the lady of the mountain threw her fortitude at me, and my heart began to fall in love with the challenge and the grace.

A barrier of thick dark clouds still stood within my sight and the tip of the mountain. I fought with ever part of the mountain. Tears from the blinding snow would freeze on my cheek, and each crevice would daunt my hope to continue further. My heart began to fill, even with my mind more cautious than ever, protecting me from every bend in the slim curves of the woman beneath. As each day was a challenge more unlike the previous day, I soon found my something to love. Each night I held dreams of this mountain, with the tender woman beneath the raging facade. I awoke each morning with great strength throughout. My love for the mountain grew, and my mind became more at ease with the treacherous cliffs and slippery grains beneath my footwear. Weeks passed and it was as if I danced upon the curves and twists of the young lady, making my way towards the dark clouds that were chopping off the view to the peak.

Shortly afterward, I began my assent into the darkness that guarded the summit. Black waves ensued, crashing into my core. Turquoise lightning struck, and I felt I could see the eyes of the mountain, fear striking within me. All the while my mind still lay caution to my heart, of the harm that lay ahead. The peak grew in my sight, and what seemed to be the light from a burning white sun, lay just beyond the other side. Naturally, love is a most distant possibility. That held true as the peak never seemed to get closer. I tried and I fell, tumbling down tearing my skin on the exposed rock, many times I could not reach the top.

I lay one night, and again I had a dream, this dream gave the key to achieving the summit, but in the dream that key would mean the death of me. My final assent to the top would be this day. The cold of below left, and a heat and sharpness began tearing away the bonds I had on for the piercing cold. Finally, I had found what I could hope for, with my mind letting down its final defense it molded with my heart in the love for this mountain, my heart felt something great, and my mind was more clear than ever. What I could hope for was to reach the summit with a heart and mind full of love.

My Hollywood Relationship: Part 9 The Storm

At this point in the story, my whole life seemed to be perfect. I was starting a great tech company, I had the girl of my dreams, and I could not be happier with the love that we shared together. To sum it up, life was absolutely perfect, and looking back on it, to this day I think those were the happiest few months of my entire life. I can only wish that any point in the future can hold that great of happiness. Enough with the sappiness though, it is time for the storm clouds to roll in and put an end to all this sunshine. Enter stage left, the rain cloud, give me a few good lightning strikes, and bring on the thunder. I hope you have a comfy seat and are buckled in, because we are in for some turbulence.

Part 1, 2, 3, 3.2, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 to get caught up on where we are at with this story.

 

Eventually she returned to Japan, and he returned to California, and they began the long journey and process of staying connected and in love until they saw each other again. Probably the most meaningful and dedicated thing they did, was to write one blog post about a quote or question they selected. This was quite the process, but it allowed them to learn more about one another in those four months than they ever learned about any other person. It showed true compassion for their relationship to go through that each and every night, and to share so much, with such strength or character and honesty.

The first three months, even though spent apart seemed to be going amazingly. The love that was being shared each and everyday was palpable, and incredibly touching. They were more in love than ever, and the intense happiness that they felt during the semester prior, and the wonderful memories they shared together seemed to continue deep into the summer, even while thousands of miles away. Until all at once it changed, and those feelings of happiness and love came to an abrupt end.

Those final couple of weeks seemed to drag on forever. Happiness and love turned into arguing, hurtful things being said, and little affection being shown. It all began with her disappearing one day, and they did not speak. When she finally responded back he was about to lay his head on his pillow and drift off into sleep, worrying about her, and her safety. Turns out she was fine, but didn’t want to talk to him anymore. Tensions were building, and pressure was being pushed on her for finding a job and starting a career. Apparently that left him as a second thought, one that she would return to without actual feelings of whether she wanted to still be with him. Their love, once an amazing tower, built strong and tall, now left laying in shambles, torn down, and left in a mess of rubble. He was left speechless, his seemingly weakening heart hurting more than it ever had. What had happened? He was not sure, and maybe she wasn’t either, but how would he know?

He had waited all summer for her to come back and be reunited with him, and now it seemed like that moment would, and shouldn’t ever happen. When the day arrived, he got into his car and made sure to get to the airport early so that he wouldn’t run into traffic, and he wouldn’t make her wait if she got there early. He had a whole romantic evening by the beach planned for when she returned, but he didn’t know if it would actually be worth it at this point, with her not even sure if they should still be together. Sadly, and almost pathetically, he was still confident in being with her, and that made it even harder for him to bear seeing her.Dust Storm Bringing in the Problems

He pulled into the terminal and there she was with her luggage in hand. They hugged, and kissed and seemed happy enough to see each other, but the feeling they had before just was not the same. He decided to continue on his romantic plan anyway, hoping that it would reignite that flame they shared just four months prior. It was a nice night out, but it wasn’t perfect like he dreamed. It led to arguing and wondering where they were actually headed, but they still managed to have a good enough time together.

It was the many weeks after that, that would prove the most difficult. All he wanted was his sweetheart back, the one he called the one, the one he loved with no end. She on the other hand thought herself to be a newly awakened individual, who didn’t want anyone by her side and no one to love. To him that was alarming, he was still reeling from the fact that everything changed 180 degrees in such a short period of time.

She was confused, about who she was, what she really wanted and where they would be headed. In just a couple months she would be headed back to Japan permanently. That would be an entirely different challenge. He knew she was struggling though, and he did absolutely everything he possibly could to make sure she was happy again, and loved him like she used to. At this point there was no happiness, no love, no affection. It was a struggle to get anywhere with the relationship and it was nearing it’s end. At any moment he thought that he would give up, and just consider the relationship to be a lost cause, but he kept going, doing absolutely everything he possibly could to make her happy.

She was not sure she wanted to continue the relationship when she returned to Japan, but he was confident they could do it. They just had to get through each week, step by step. He took her out often, and tried to do special things as much as he could to help her cope with everything, and experience the many great things that life had to offer. The first major milestone was making it to his best friends wedding when they would return to Colorado for a few days to celebrate in the love of marriage and a child, and strong friendship. That seemed to be a rejuvenating moment in their relationship, and things were back on track, but not the same as they used to be. It would take more time for them to really get back to what would be close to how they were before.

After the brief road trip they had together to visit his dad, and the time they spent in Colorado with his friends things really started to seem to get back to normal and she seemed happy again. It had taken a toll on him though. The endless effort made him exhausted. He still loved her dearly, but he just hoped that she would realize how much time he spent trying to help her get through those tough times. They finally seemed happy together, once again. Now there was just one month left in the semester and they had to make the best of it. He had done everything out of love, but now six months of a struggling relationship made him the skeptical one about what would happen when they left one another for potentially two years. Interestingly enough she was the one who was the one who wanted to make it work when they separated again. He did too, but knew that it was going to be very hard, and he needed to recharge his batteries soon. In this last month things seemed to be great again, and it all was happy. The scars were still there from the summer, but the strong happiness and endless love seemed to be back again. Just as his batteries were getting recharged, his trust was broken again, just two weeks before they would be separated indefinitely.

My Hollywood Relationship: Part 8 The Long Separation

As you may have read from my earlier posts, everything in this rather Hollywood romance story, has been just peachy and full of happiness. However, as with any great Oscar winning film, there must be a major climax, and some major problem that happens between the two lovers. Unbeknownst to them, it is time for that turn in the story, even when everything seems to be falling into place perfectly. Plot line for a story

Part 1, 2, 3, 3.2, 4, 5, 6, 7 for your enjoyment.

Heading into the summer they tried to spend as much time together as possible. It was the most amazing semester the two of them had ever had, and they never felt happier in their lives. They also began to talk about what the next four months apart held for them. They were going to try their best to make it through it, but she warned that she did not do well with long distance, and he wasn’t known for being the best either. Despite that fact though, they were committed to making it work and being at their happiest ever, they were going to stop at nothing to make it work.

The end of the year approached and it was a sad time, another bitter sweet time. Capping off the end to one of the greatest experiences of their lives, but getting ready to begin a new long and seemingly grueling strain of unending longing for one another. They said their long goodbyes at the airport, kissed passionately and then he left to go back home, and she returned to school until she would leave to go back home.

As a whim though, she decided she would come spend some time in his home state, and home town with him. He could not be happier, and he was waiting to tell her something that he had been thinking about ever since he had that flash about their future together. He wasn’t sure she felt the same way though, or whether or not she would accept how he felt and not leave him right then and there. When she arrived, it was amazing. They went to all the places that were so meaningful to him, and she saw the place of where all his stories and experiences originated from. She saw the final pieces of him, and really put it all together to see him for exactly who he was, is, and will be. He completely let her in, and he felt ecstatic about it.

A couple days later, as they were laying together in the small pullout couch at his mom’s house, he told her exactly what he had been thinking about. He told her everything about how he wanted a family with her, and how he never felt that about anyone else, and how he knew that she was the one, the one that you see in every romantic comedy film to come out of Hollywood. She was his fairytale ending. She harbored similar feelings for him, and they both lay there, tightly pressed against one another, staring deeply into the eyes of the other, with nothing but love surrounding them.

The last days she spent with him were amazing, everything that they had ever imagined. Unfortunately, this time they approached the the airport it would be a long time before they ever were able to hug, kiss, or share in a loving stare as they fell asleep next to each other, happy. These next months would be some of the most difficult for them, but they didn’t quite know just how it would end.

My Hollywood Relationship: Part 6 The One

As a little teaser, this is the part in the story where everything starts to click. Everything seems to be picture perfect, and without end, the quintessential Hollywood moment when it appears that it cannot get any better. It is truly amazing how it all works out though, and gives you a warm feeling from head to toe.

Part 1, 2, 3, 3.2, 4, 5 are all here.

 

He met her at the airport, and could not have been happier. Seeing her there, for the first kiss of the new year, that he had waited so long for was amazing. All the while he wondered if she felt the same way, it was not love yet, but it was something immensely strong. From there on out, each night they spent together, cuddled closely in the thin beds to express their affection, and what seemed to be an undying need, and sincere want for one another.

They were not a couple that expressed their feelings for one another as outwardly as many other couples did, but there was a smoldering ember inside both of them, incredibly hot, but not a big fire that would eventually go out. This made them special, not just to one another, but in general as this was a relationship that was binding and long lasting, mentally, physically, intellectually, and emotionally.

Happiness would be the word to describe the many moments and days that followed. Everything seemed perfect, as if Heaven were something that was actually here on earth and only shared between the two of them. In everything they did with one another they had fun, and enjoyed one another thoroughly. They each had their own things to do, and were busy, but at the end of the night they knew where they were laying there heads, and it was next to one another in pure happiness. In that time span there really couldn’t have been anything better, it was life as it should be.Perfect Home White Picket Fence

Love began to be present in their thoughts, something that seemed almost impossible, but that slowly and surely crept up into the front of their minds and began to surround their hearts. Valentine’s Day was approaching, and he knew he wanted to do something that had never been done before to show her just how much he cared. It took some time for him to think of how to do something above and beyond what could be imagined.

At last he had the idea, and just needed to execute. He didn’t have much time because of his schedule but he made it work. He borrowed his friends car and rushed to the store to buy a dozen roses. Now, he wasn’t simply going to hand the roses to her and wish her a happy Valentine’s Day, he was going to do something much more special, and meaningful. He wanted to do something that would make Hollywood proud. For that he called up another friend of his, and had her let him into her dorm. Once there, he took his first rose, and plucked the petals one by one. Laying a trail of petals from the front door of her dorm to the front door of her room. It wasn’t a quick process, and it took three roses just to have enough petals to get all the way there. He then went outside to wait for her to return, and proceeded to wait another half hour until she walked up. He was beaming, and he could tell she was excited to see what was in store for her. He handed her the bouquet of the nine roses still left, and they walked inside. When she opened the door she witnessed the deep red trail of petals, like a scene from a movie, leading all the way to her room. At her room, laying on the ground was a card, explaining the significance of the roses and why there was a trail of petals. At that moment it was the highlight of their relationship, and each thought that love really was approaching, as unlikely as it had seemed a few months ago.

To her, all of this seemed oddly foretold, as he explained month by month where her life would go and how it would be, and as of Valentine’s it all seemed to becoming true to her amazement. Could he really see what lay in the future, or was he just so dedicated to making it happen, that he would stop at nothing. It really was untold, but they knew that there must be something in the stars that began to align right.

 

A few weeks later they were out playing volleyball together. A nice beautiful evening, the sun just beginning to cast a shadow on the lawn, they could feel the grass begin to cool. On one errant pass, he hit the ball past her, and as she turned to bound away after it, the future seemed to flash before his eyes. It was a glimpse of a life with her, their perfect home, a beautiful family, the backyard they would play in, in the future, and everything seemed right. After just a second, the flash returned to real life, and she came running back with the ball in hand. He smiled sweetly at her, and they continued to pepper back and forth. It was in that moment when he realized that he was in fact, falling madly in love with her. Nothing like anything before.

Shortly after that happened to him, something similar happened to her while they were having and intimate moment together. It was late at night, and they were pressed tightly against one another, lips locked, the warmth of one another’s skin passing effortlessly between each other. She suddenly stopped, caught in her tracks. To him it seemed like he had done something wrong, the intimate moment seemed to end, but to her it was the moment when she fully realized she had fallen for him. She let him in, he was now a piece of her, and although it made her feel vulnerable, it made her feel warm and happy from within.

My Hollywood Relationship: Part 5 Foreshadowing the Future

As in every good relationship you think it is going to last forever. You feel that the person you are with is the one. Little do you know though, that the person you are with right now, especially if you are in the early stages of your adulthood, is probably far from the one for many reasons, partly for the reason that so much can change from now and until you are ready to get married. However, it can still feel incredibly happy. That is where I am at with this story right now.

Catch up on this story now with Part 1, 2, 3, 3.2, and 4 linked.

 

At the airport, the goodbye was sad, not particularly emotional, but still the feelings were strong, and present. They didn’t quite know what lay ahead of them for this next month, they knew it wouldn’t be ideal, but both were confident that it would work, and that the next semester would hold something much more meaningful.

He returned again to the place that he knew so well, yet really had no taste in continuing to be present there. He only wished the month was over already, and at his core, wished she felt the same way. They communicated often, not the most ideal with the time difference, and it was a new experience for him, but it didn’t seem to be too bad of an experience. In all reality it seemingly brought them closer, they had a wealth of things to talk about, and had plenty of time to learn more and more about one another, all the way down to skeletons in their closets. He would stay up incredibly late talking to her, and just waiting for the chance to hear her voice and see her sweet smile, even if she was only lit up by the dim light of her computer screen. It was memorable, and the highlight of each day, and the perfect end before bed time each night. The month seemed to go by pretty slow without being near one another, but they got through it, and returned to what they would soon realize was the happiest moments of their young lives.

My Hollywood Relationship: Part 4 True Happiness

The saga continues tonight, as I lay down the fourth installment to this wonderful relationship. For all of you that are following, let me just give you a little prelude, this is when everything starts to get happy. Hang on to your shorts though, the happiness is only beginning, and we all know that there will reach a climax when everything falls apart. Until then, let us just bask in the happiness. Part 1, 2, 3, 3.2 are linked. Enjoy.

 

She picked him up from the airport, making him very happy, and they shared a long hug and a kiss when they got back to campus, despite her not wanting to show a significant amount of public affection. They had one more month before they would be separated for one month, and they had to make it truly count. He set off to make her truly happy, and after getting to know her, he knew what he could do, and knew that it would work, or so he hoped.

In her dorm room, there hung many brightly colored sticky notes, filled with quotes. Some inspirational, others thought provoking, and even others full of memories. He knew that each quote had a significance in her life, past, present, and future. Each day any one of those quotes could be the one little, stunningly bright, square reminder to keep pushing forward.

It wasn’t just quotes that made her the most happy, and inspired. It was the beautiful art of music as well, the melody, the lyrics, the rhythm, and the tone. It all resonated closely to her inner self. Because of that he knew that music was something that could really reach inside her and make her happy, from the core. Picking which songs though, would be a great task, it not only had to be something shared between the two of them, but something sincerely meaningful, in language and artful experience.

His first step was to set out to the one store he knew that would have the most meaningful gifts, complete with well thought out quotes, and something that could really tug on her heart strings. He stepped softly into the store, lit mostly by the natural light from outside. His first thought was to go to the cards, to find a card that really said everything he ever wanted to say to her, summed up in one quote. As he searched, turning the wheel around and around, reading each carefully and taking a moment to think how each applied to the moments and the affection they shared, he couldn’t choose just one. Simplicity in this instant was not something that was going to work well, it needed to be more meaningful, something that could last longer and really be cherished for some time to come. After an unsuccessful period figuring it all out, he came across an unsuspecting, pastel yellow book, small, but with a hard cover and a texture that felt unique, and memorable. In simple lettering on the cover, the words Happily Grateful were written. It seemed so simple, a full book of happy and grateful quotes, it was perfect. He read through the whole book a couple times just to make sure this was the one. It showed the exact feelings that he wanted to get across to her. Each day is meaningful, you should be grateful for each and everyday, happiness is not something that happens every once in awhile, it is something that happens constantly, you just need to know where to look to find it. He didn’t want to just let the book stand alone. There needed to be a touch all his own, and he had exactly that.CD Gift

The next week he spent keeping track of all of his favorite quotes, and the ones that related most to his feelings for her, and true happiness. After that week long spent figuring out the exact quotes he wanted to share with her, he decided the perfect ones and wrote them inside the cover. It may not have seemed like much, but to him that was the best way he knew to truly show how much he cared, and how devoted he was to making her happy, not just in the present, but forever into the future. After the quotes though, it was on to the CD. That he also spent a week putting together the exact number of tracks that would show a piece of him, how he felt about her, and some songs that were dear to her. At the end of the day, when the present was complete , it wasn’t the most amazing thing in the world. To anyone outside of the couple it would have seemed dull and not necessarily worth while. He hoped when she took the time to read through it and listen, it would mean more than any expensive, flashy present ever could. He wrote a little note to go with it and called it good, now just had to wait for the right moment to give it to her.

A couple days later she came over to his room, and as they sat by his bed, he pulled out the present and gave it to her, telling her that when she said she hadn’t been truly happy in such a long time, he set out to change that, and through this gift really hoped it would. In the little time that they had spent together at that point, he could feel such a strong emotional connection to her. It was different than anyone else he had ever been with, and he just wanted to be able to make her feel as happy as she made him feel.

They sat and talked for a little while longer, and she read through the book, smiled sweetly and gave him a hug and a kiss. Nothing felt better in his 19 years than that connection in that moment. Each moment after that would forever be better than each year prior. It was just special, and it felt right. Her small frame pressed against his, felt familiar even given the short time they had known each other. Which was incredible, never once had he felt that he was so connected and so familiar with a person, in such a short amount of time. After knowing her for just a month or two, laying next to her, looking deep into her eyes, it felt like they had known each other intimately for years. He couldn’t have asked for anything better.

Shortly after, they parted ways, and continued on with the rest of the semester gearing up to go back home. It was bitter sweet, in that moment they truly felt like a couple, even though they said they weren’t looking for a relationship, it just happened, and felt to be guided by fate, but soon they would be separated for a month. The true first test of this international relationship.